Shalom readers! =) Have a bless day today. It was raining few minutes ago. And now, I still don't know what to do.
Times...every things need times right? I'm wondering if I could make it by time. Right now, I'm facing something that I didn't expect to happen. Me, myself also not sure whether I can face it bravely. I just don't want to hurt others and make a bad decision at the same time. I know I need some effort to make things right. But...at the same time, I was afraid I can't be good enough for someone and repeat the same mistake =/ I felt I don't want to do anything. But this case, my heart seems easily to accept things easily. That's the dangerous part actually. Receiving things so easily. ==' One thing in my mind, "I'm sorry if I make up things not perfectly."
At this moment, I can't say out what is in my heart actually. I'm still thinking. Can I be the one? Will I be good enough for someone? There's a lot of ques came out in my mind. Too badly, I'm not strong enough to handle this feeling. It seems that I just knew how to have in a relationship. I'm just like a newbie in this kind of situation. Still, every things need times to know each other, to get the answer, to get things properly. Let's time heals everything. Only time cure my heart since after those thing happened. The worst things happen in my life. It's just not like who I am that time. And I'm felt ashamed on it :'( Tears roll through my cheeks. When I'm thinking back, should I let him hoping for me? All I am thinking was I can't be Mrs. Right. Time should heals everything back to normal, isn't it? I can't be sure with everything. I can't make any decision too right now :(
I'm so sorry if I do bad things, the way I treat you, the way that I talk to you are so rude. I'm so sorry. I'm really not ready to accept those things. I'm still ashamed with myself and still ask forgiveness from HIM. Oh my... :'( at the same time right now, I missed him. He got works to do until this eve, he will come back. He is nice and kind person. He is happy-go-lucky person. That's his real characteristics. But why I'm still afraid to accept someone in my life? Even though I did asked for it from God. Now, he came and HE gave me but why I'm still can't accept someone as my partner in my life? . . . I do want sharing with him. But will he listen? Will he be there for me? Will he calm me? Can he comforts me? I'm afraid if I make the wrong steps.
:( everything takes time, byee... How can I handle this things . . . I'm not strong enough anyway :( hurmm....so now on, let's just wait for the first thing that I've asked him. God bless him and everyone =')