Monday, 30 January 2012

Easy come.. Easy go~

Shalom readers! (: It's raining heavily outside there at this moment. I'm feel a bit bless with the rain (: Thank you, Lord for the rain.

Hmmm... it's been more than a month I've been thinking and solving my own problems. Days by days, I've been asking to myself on 5 Wives and 1 Husband. Nevertheless, I know that I'm grown up already. It's enough for me to understand every single words and situation why it happened. But sometimes I can't figure it out by myself. Why it must be me actually. 

Obviously, I hate people that easy come and easy go. Why? It is because they must have leaving the footprints every time they come to our life. Then simply gone just like that without knowing our feelings that gonna be so much hurts. Sometimes, I don't want to understand, I don't wanna know. They will do their innocent face, tells lies and so much more. 

As you know, I'm quite disappointed with their attitudes. Sometimes I get annoyed and it makes me get so much angry. As much I concern, I know every steps taken has it's own reason why. But at least tell my why.
I hate it when they gone and suddenly come over just to get attention because no one else can treat him/her. And the next thing happen, they will get something to get us jealous or feels sick to see it. I don't know what's wrong with that person. Well, as long as it makes he/she happy. I don't mind at all.

I just hope them to realize about what they had done and what they had searching for. If they never realize about that, they haven't been that mature enough. I'm not judging anybody. I'm just wish they could know the exactly which one is good or bad, the truth and the lies and so on. 

That's all for tonight I guess (: Wish them have a happy life and MGBU~ 

Sweet Love from me 

Sunday, 29 January 2012

I want to feel it too (':

Shalom again readers! (:

As far as I concern, I have thinking about this world, the people and my own life. There are a lot of different people, different culture, different characteristics, different perspective and so on. 
I wonder, how people gonna achieve or prove something that they have found if there's some people in this world don't believe for what has other found. 

Generally, the simple things in this world to understand is Love.  Yea, what I'm gonna talk about here is love. How many people in this world really know what is LOVE ? For me, I know I still need to learn more on it. 
It's not that I don't understand. I know love is something we need to feel but at the same time, we need to act the way we love somebody. But I shall tell you this, God's love is more precious that ever. He is the creator, He understand more about His people (:

Talking about love. I'm really sensitive at this moment whenever I'm listen or think whatever that related to love. I don't know why but that's how it happen. I don't want to recall back for what had happened but I'm so disappointed. I'm really don't know how to explain. Only God knows how I feel.

50% in my mind I wanna to find someone to complete my life but another 50%, I'm thinking, "I'm still have a long journey. The destiny doesn't go anywhere. I should prepare myself to worship God and for my future. I know women won't die for a men. A strong woman can survive by themselves." It's really hard to find what we want sometimes but seriously, people in this world always demand much than they could afford. Nobody's perfect in this world. 

Seriously guys, my life won't be so complete w/o my friends too. From what I feels and see, we can't trust anyone unless to God. We put so much hope on Him. He gives us anything what we want if we patiently wait for it and have faith on it. I pray a lot but sometimes I felt that I don't deserve for something what I wanted and for something I had right now. There's a lot of things more I need to understand. I want to be in love, I want there's really love me, I really want to feel the real love in me. Someone is really sincere with love.
But I guess, I can't have it right now. Maybe it's not the time yet. That's the answer God gives me. 

The fact is in my life, not all people has the same thought in their mind. Let the feelings only myself understand it. People won't understand it if they never felt how was the situation go. I do wanna share more. If I really want to, I can make one book on life or love. All I can say is I love everyone (': I love them so much. Hope that they understand.

Sweet Love from me 

Saturday, 28 January 2012

^^ New Lover ♥

Yess!! Thanks Mommy! Thanks for buying me this sweet RED wedges! I didn't plan to buy any red wedges. I just want to buy a wedges. I almost gave up to find the suits wedges for me. Unfortunately, the wedges that I wanted all were the last stock for my size. uhhuu~ poor me. 
But then!! >< I found this!! I''m so excited to have this wedges! Really thanks you, Mommy. I love you so much! xD

Sweet Love from me 

Thursday, 26 January 2012

Life is like a C I R C L E

Shalom readers! :) 

Hari nie aku terasa penat sikit. Tapi aku membiarkan penat lelah aku macam tue jer. Aku tak nak rehat. Rehat pun sekejap jer. Kesian juge badan aku nie. Petang senja tadi, aku ngan Josephine photo shoot kat tepi waterfront nun. Ntah nape hati ku tergerak sangat nak pegi sane. Tapi, ade juge aku hilang mood sikit. 

Pertama, sebab lambat sampai sane.
Kedua, takde sunset ler.
Ketiga, terasa kehilangan sesuatu.
Keempat, otak asyik aktif berfikir tentang perkara yang tidak sepatutnya.
Kelima, seolah-olah dalam dilema la plak.

Hmm.. nak katekan aku asyik fikirkan tentang lalu. Dah lalek juge aku ngan benda tue. Tak juge aku kisah sangat sekarang nie. Otak aku jer rase sesak dengan benda-benda lama. Aku penatlah.

Hidup nie bagaikan roda. Kejap kat atas, kejap kat bawah. Pabila hampir ke bawah tue ler yang paling bahaya sangat. Andailah aku dapat memberhentikan masa dalam 5 minit. Aku ingin tarik nafas sedalam-dalamnya dan hembus sekuat hati. Aku terasa berat beban di bahu nie. Aku ingin hampiri orang yang ku sayang dan ingin aku katakan aku sayang sangat-sangat kat dier. Aku ingin peluk dier. Dan bagi aku peluang untuk aku perbetulkan segalanya. Aku selalu jaga hati orang, patutkah orang seperti aku ini meminta balasannya? Bagi aku, segala balasan yang baik dan setimpal dengannya adalah daripada Tuhan Yang MahaEsa. 

Aku pinta untuk memberi aku ruang untuk berterus-terang tanpa mengharapkan apa-apa. Aku sayang semua orang. Malangnye, ade segelintir berfikiran negatif kat aku. Aku sentiasa tertanya diri akan aku sendiri. Layakkah aku bersama mereka? Kenapa mereka harus begitu? Aku sentiasa mengelakkan diri berfikiran negatif, tapi mereka membuatkan aku merasa sesuatu yang aku tidak sangka langsung. Walaupun mulut tak berkate, tapi gerak geri aksi mereka ku kenali.

Kadang-kadang, aku terlalu mengharap kepada orang yang aku sayang sehingga harapan aku itu boleh hancur berkecai. Kenape aku masih juge memaafkan kesalahan mereka? Tapi sedarkah mereka apa yang mereka lakukan kepada aku sebelum ini? 

Dengan aksi dan gerak geri mereka sudah pun aku kenali. Aku sayang mereka ya, Tuhan.
Aku tak pasti samada aku salah kerna bersikap sebegini atau sememangnya semua ini benar. . . . . .
Bila punya masalah, sedih, gembira dan sebagainya ada saja cerita. Di saat aku memerlukan seseorang, tiada seorang pun yang bertahan, memahami aku dan ingin bersamping aku saat aku betul-betul perlukan seseorang. Semuanya datang dan pergi. Aku cuba mengerti kehidupan apa yang aku miliki saat ini.

Kini, aku terasa makin lemah dalam iman tapi aku masih mampu mempertahankan apa yang patut dan aku tau batas aku sendiri. Walaupun lemah, aku tau aku tetap teruskan apa yang telah aku mulakan kerna di situ permulaannya, di situ jugalah penamatnya. 

I know that I'm strong enough to venture off all the obstacles >.<
I know God always beside me (: He will lead my way. I shall let go all the bad things and thought. God bless my life and bless my family & friends. Shall let the things be.

Sweet Love from me 

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

I'm still newbies (:

Shalom readers! ^^
Guess what? I'm started to LOVE more on photography (: Time passes by so quickly, I still can't manage my schedule. There's a lot of things I wanna do in my to-do-list. Pheww~ I'm tired being tired. Plus I thinks too much this few days and daydreaming a LOTSA~! Damn! But thanks God cause I can handle those things smoothly. 

Back to the started, well.. I wanna show you guys some pictures that I had taken by my Canon EOS 1100D. 
I maybe did some mistakes but I did try my best already. I know that I'm still gonna learn more on photography. 
I hope you guys like it (: Enjoy!

I really look like a childish person. Just look at my face >< HEHE. I even don't know how to describe myself. But SERIOUSLY~ I love people who can makes me LAUGH >< cause I love being HAPPY

Sweet Love from me 

Sunday, 22 January 2012

I miss you.

I miss you, I miss how close we used to be, I miss how we used to talk, I miss how much I used to see you,  and how much time we used to spend together but I guess it doesn't matter to you anymore :')

Sweet Love from me 

Thursday, 19 January 2012

Peak-A-Boo ! xD

Hye guys! Shalom ! ^^

Hmm! Actually tiada kena mengenakan dgn tajuk itu pun dgn apa yg sye mau type di sini :P
But seriously, I'm happy with my life now :) Now and forever. 

Some people said with a big family or having a partner is such a burden for them. Everyone ever thinks like that. No one is perfect in this world. It's our decision actually whether to let them go in our life or back off from them.
For me, it's not that it is such a burden if they always by our side. Their present is to complete our life :) We should be grateful anyway. Love them with all over our heart :)

I like my surrounding nowadays. Just... I need to get use of it. I'm kinda still newbies with this kind of situation. I won't mind so much 'cause I know God will show me the way :) 

The sadness, happiness, madness, fearless, hopeless and so much one. I can handle it by my own. 
I know who I am and I know what should I do. Maybe it is good to let things go but we can't easily to let it go. Maybe it is good to denied anything but we cant hide the true feelings. Life is simple if you understand the concept of life. I don't say I that I'm good enough about everything but I'm good enough to understand myself before I understand people. I always look myself first before trying to help or advise other.

I feel much better to have a great friends. I know that some friends won't be by my side always. I understand why. Everyone knows about their friends, how is their friends. My BEST FRIEND is MEMORIES :)

I couldn't express how much I L O V E my life. My life is colorful and thanks God I still can survive until now :) Everything went smoothly. I handle it with care but some people don't care. I don't mind :') 
Everything that happened has it's own reason :) Plus, nothing is impossible.

I think that's all for tonight :) GBu~ Have a bless day readers.

Sweet Love from me 

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

We belong together lyrics - Mariah Carey

** Always hear this song when I miss him before =') But now...whenever I remembered anything about me and him, even missing him so badly, I'm just listen to this song.


Saturday, 14 January 2012


Shalom readers! :) Have a bless day.

Regarding to the title that I've been typed. This picture (below) has attract my attention and I want shares with you guys a little about my experience and thoughts.

I ever felt that way before and it's true I ever regret on it. Well, we are human being and we are not perfect in this world. We always do mistake and ask forgiveness from God. Some people are lucky and some people are not. For me, I admit that I'm not perfect and always do mistake and I assume myself not that lucky too. 
It's not that I'm naive. This is me, always thinking that I'm not good enough for other people. And maybe it's not the right time now. I do love someone and my bad, I can't even manage to make it on time telling that person how much I love him. Maybe it's not my destiny and I should let it everything to God. I know HE will show me the way where should I belong. I will follow his footsteps.

I agree with the quotes (picture above). Only heart can understand the Love Language. 

Hmm! This picture (above) is so sweet  I ever thought to have a scene like this =P HAHA. Just only in my dream, I guess. I prefer this kind of character in man =) No need for us (girls) to tell. They know how to calm our heart. Although I keep on babbler or mad at him, suddenly he grab my hand and hug me in his warm arm. I know he will care and understand =') GOSH!! Jiwanglah pulak. HAHA. xD Forget about that. It just a dream. I don't believe it 'cause it won't happen. Seldom to see a guy that dares to do it. That’s all for today =) GBu~ *BIG hugs from me ^^

Sweet Love from me 

Thursday, 12 January 2012

Can I make it?

Will the day allow me to change

Am I strong enough to get through every things?

Could  I  makes the things right?

Do my own heart playing with the feelings?

Can I get my happiness in the end of the day?

Could I gain my strong spirit back?

Can I say "Everything is okay" like before?

Sometimes I don't know what I am saying... Blurring~ 

May God bless me and always stay by my side when I need Him :')

Wednesday, 11 January 2012


Life is really too short. Forgive quickly, apologize sincerely, live your life happily. 
If we don't use it very well, we can't have it once again. It's hard to repeat it @ make it exactly the same at first. 

We are sometimes at the highest among the others and sometimes we are at the lower part.
Life is just like a  circle. So many obstacles that we have to face by ourselves. Seriously, I still love him but I know that both him and I won't be together like usual. Won't talk as usual. We were totally stranger. I don't blame anyone. If it has to be like that, I'll just follow it with no doubt.

Nowadays, I've been push myself really hard. I don't care anymore about my heart. It's seem worthless already. Just a simple thing I can't handle it well. Let myself find the peace. Let myself hold it on. I know I still need more space with all of this. 

I will learn the way it moves, its silence, its talk and so on. I know it won't be hard. Just... I need more patience (= That's all. May God bless my plan and bless my beloved on and also everyone that I know.

Sweet Love from me 

Sunday, 8 January 2012

This remind me of him.

What is LOVE?

Shalom readers! :) Have a good day. Well~ I'm at Miri right now. Just consider it as I'm taking my vacation here. It's hard to explain anyway. 

So, back to my subject. What is Love actually? Let me shares some thoughts and experience about love that I've been through. Seriously, I never had felt the real love accept there's one person that makes me feel the love is real :) Before, my love just happen through phone or a.k.a sms love. HAHA xD when I flash back what had happened before, every things that ever happened do teach me and encourage me a lot to change something better and never repeat the same mistake. But sometimes, there's some people dislike my changes (that's what I think actually).

The love that I had before this is the greatest and the special one for me. But too bad, it's my fault. Just because I took the risk and make the wrong decision. And seriously, I'm not that good in a relationship. 
Plus now, been a single and solo person for almost two years is been tough one. Within those period, I do ever thinking to find another one but at the same time I'm afraid and still thinking of him. I don't know why and I don't know what should I do. Since after that, I tried to live as a single person (even though I ever thought to return back ==')

So now, as a young teenager lady :) nothing could stop me. I'd rather to speak the truth than keeping it in my heart. And so what if there's no one want to listen. At least, God always the one be my a good listener :') He's the GREATEST! ='D Anyway, I still sayang him. But at the same time, I don't feel any connection anymore between me and him. There's one quote I like "Words don't have power to hurt you unless that person is means a lot to you" Yes, he do meant a lot to me before. As I step this new year, those feelings had gone. It's true that She's gone. I'm gone already. :
"She's gone,
Out of my life.
Oh, she's gone.
I find it so hard to go on.
I really miss that girl, my love."
I just understand those lyrics. That's what he trying to say before. Please forgive me and I'm so sorry :')

This moment, all I had were my sweet and sour memories. =P HEHE. I don't know whether I could forget those things days by days, weeks by weeks and years by years. I still keep every stuff that he gave me. Right now, I don't hope much. I just wanna say that wish him a bless and successful life :) Never demand much. 

So for now, I shall continue my single life =) I will have my relationship when I'm ready. Wish no more tears, no more heartbroken and whatever it is. Patience is all I need to make through every things. 

p/s: I miss you and I sayang you for the last. :') God bless you and everyone that I love.

Wednesday, 4 January 2012


Shalom readers! =D 
The day is still same as usual. Nothing much to compare =P
Well~ ! I think I wanna change my style. Is it possible? HEHE. 
I'm totally in ♥ with vintage style =D it's been a long time already. Just I can't make it on time. I hope I can fulfill it HEHE xD I went to the mall just now, there's still a lotsa discount price for clothes, bags, shoes, dresses and so much more. My eyes were (♥.♥) 

Never mind. Still got lotsa days been here. I'll take time to discover, survey and searching for it >.< 
If I could, I wanna change the whole things inside me. Mentally to physically =P In and out.
But...this is me. I'm still wanna be me =)

a P.O.E.M

I love you.. I love you..
Even if I call it out but you can't hear it because I'm only yelling it inside my heart. 
All day I try to erase you, but I remember you and I stand here crying..

For every step I send you away my tears flow, for every step that you go away my tears flow again.
You're going to the place where I can't reach, even if I spread my hands but unable to stop you and I stand here crying.. What should I do? What should I do?

You are going away. You're leaving me here. 

I love you.. I love you..
Even if I call it out but you can't hear it because I'm only yelling it inside my heart. 
All day I try to erase you, but I remember you and I stand here crying..

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

My D.E.T.E.R.M.I.N.A.T.I.O.N this new year!

Well hello and shalom! =D Guess what!?? 
Banyak azam saye tahun nie =D Moga-moga tercapailah. Here's the list.

1. Meningkatkan deg mata (*HAHA xD so what? dah rabun tue, xyahlah alang2. =P**)
2. I need a vacation!! >.< (*probably visit my dearest friends at KL in June =D**)
3. Be a GOOD girl >.< (*xckup good girl kot dpd last year =P HEHE. **)
4. Ingin melayani dengan sepenuh hatiku 'tuk Tuhan :)
5. Memperbanyakkan bersabar and belajar mengampuni orang lain :) dengan hati yang lebih ikhlas.
6. Memulakan hidup dengan sebaiknya.
7. Memperbaiki apa yang pernah berlaku and won't repeat the same mistake.
8. Mencari ketenangan dan belajar melepaskan apa yang harus dilepaskan :')
9 & 10. Wanna taking LOTSAA of photoS ! >.<

I'm not N A I V E .

It is cold night tonight. :) Shalom readers! Have a bless day anyway.
Hmm. Saye tak pasti ape akan saye bicarakan di sini. Not really about the title but still got the connections. :)
Today is the 3rd day for 2012. Not much happened, still got the normal things. Fikiran selalu melayang. Driving tak stabil. Jiwa kacau. =/ Cuaca hari nie pun ikut mood macam saye. 

Mungkin saat nie hati yang belum dapat terima tentang ape yang telah terjadi. I didn't blame anyone. I admit my mistake and I know anyone can make mistakes. Nobody's perfect in this world. It's just more than words to say. This girl is totally in dilemma. She's Gone

Naa~ I'm too emotional. =P So what anyway? Everyone has the heart to feel something and so do I. I wish I could capture my own picture. The way I walk, cried, laugh, gloomy, sorrow, happy, sad and so much more. But! How can I take my own picture?? You know, I know bah =P

I always talk something that can make me laugh so that I could forget the things even just a minute :)
My FRIENDS are my medicine actually. When I see their faces, I'm speechless. No tears, just happiness.  
I have think about it all over again. One time by another. Non-stop thinking about it actually.
*i can't get it away out of my mind**

So, let's time heals every things (*i always encourage myself with those words but sometimes i can't..) but I know that God always hear me =') He won't disappoint me. I know that. He will make anything to gain back my spirit. To tell ya the truth, before I knew about everything. I admit that he is a nice and kind person. He always be there for me. All I can say is he is too kind for me. But, right after I heard those things, never thought that he could do something like that. Now, what are words actually if you don't mean it. I'm just disappoint with his attitude. I prefer his old character. The one that first time that I knew him. 
People said, "Past is past. Now, move forward.

Badai pasti berlalu. Sememangnya doa mengubah segala sesuatu :') Kini, biarlah aku memiliki hati sebagai hamba. Ya Bapa, ku mohon pengampunan daripada Engkau. Aku tahu dosa ku. Tapi kini, Bapa, ku ingin Engkau lepaskanlah aku dari segalanya. Biarlah orang mengata, hatiku akan sentiasa tenang jika bersama Engkau. Hanya Engkau yang mengetahui akan segala hal. Ya Bapa, aku tak akan berharap apa-apa lagi. Jija iya diperkenankan oleh Engkau, Ya Bapa, maka terjadilah segala kehendak Engkau. Kerna Engkaulah Juruslamatku, Amen. 

Jadikan Aku Terang, ya Bapa. I'm really need you. Let the memories just a memories. Cry no more :')
You know the best among the BEST. I will always pray for him to understand something more better :) He's the best. Won't forget it. He is the past, so now I need to look forward for my future. But, i still mark my words :)

May God bless you and your family.

Monday, 2 January 2012

it's 2nd day of 2012 :)

Wow! It's already new Y E A R! =D it's 2012 man! Anyway, thanks for 2011 for being such a great year :) Actually for real, i thought last year was 2010 and this is 2011. Hehe. Tak perasan 2011 memang cepat berlalu. Hmm... plus my buddies sudah mulai kembali ke negeri orang sekali lagi. Selalu saye mengatakan, "masa ini memang jealous melihat saat kami bersama. Selalu dipercepatkan masa." Hehe. Ye la. Mereka kan jarang sungguh balik.
So far, I've spent my last days in 2011 in hard times. I laugh, cried, sad, relax, patient and chillax :) Thanks God that I can manage everything well. This lately, it's true that I miss him so much. Tapi saye kuatkan hati ni dan bertahan selama yang boleh. I didn't expect that, benda yang dia dah buat kat orang 1st person, dia buat juga untuk another person. Nampaknyer saye telah menilai dia salah. 
Buat masa ni, saye merelakan segalanya. :') Walaupun perit macam mana sekali pun, I know that I have to. Biarlah kenangan manis itu yang menemani saye. Mulai semalam, saye akan sentiasa membawa kenangan itu :) Kini, saye tak kisah lagi. Saye telah menemui segala persoalan itu. Tiada yang ragu and sangsi buat saye lagi. 

Persoalan seterusnya, mampukah saya melalui saat-saat yang baharu? :) We'll see.

* I started to miss my buddies already. Batt, Tina, Fey, Jess, Russ and the one that will be away too are loyis, ully and sebas. May God bless them all :') Have a successful life in new year.