Perasaan yang tidak dapat digambarkan.

Shalom readers! Hmm! Merry Christmas! :D and Happy Birthday Jesus! ^^ Hari nie baru jer sampai kat rumah. Semalam tak sambut Christmas pun. But its okay :)

Semenjak beberapa hari nie, asyik2 terfikir perkara yang sama. Nape ek asyik fikir benda tue? Bukannyer dapat kembali pon. Hmm. Macam2 bende dah ku rasakan. Hmm! Malas nak diceritakn actually. Tapi...tak henti2 plak dikenang kembali. Memori kenangan lama masih disimpan. Mane taknyer terkenang kembali. Bab emo2 ni la saye tak suke. Sensitive betol saye nie. Kalo difikirkan balik, kalo ia bukan untuk aku, buat ape nak muncul2 bende tue kat depan kite? Ape2 bende je la yang bkenaan. 

Seriously, kalo sayang tue, memang la masih sayang. Tapi... hmm..biarlah. All I can say is that's impossible. Mau pandang muke dier pun mcam terpaksa la plak. Kalo bende tue dah depan mata I nie, hati bukan main keras macam batu. Ego bukan main tinggi. =.='

Dear God, I never mean to judge anybody. I'm so sorry for  what I had done. I can't continue for I had done before 'cause I felt I don't deserve something that's better for me. Whatever it is, bless him, my friends and my family. I know life must go on. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

F r i e n d s.

Shalom readers! :) Have a nice day.

Well, fellas.. Why? Since the day I came here, he was in my mind? Hmmm...maybe I have think too much about things that had happened. Jiwa kacau sudah. I'm still wondering why?? Baru dah berbaik dulu, hati baru sudah senang. But now I still felt the guiltiness in me. I really wanna talk to him, face to face. I can't stand with the attitude. Is he really forgave me actually? I'm really think too much already. Sometimes can makes me lost focus while I'm driving, the moment I hang out with my other friends. Am I really mean or what? I know I made a mistake. People always do the mistake. But couldn't us apologize each other? Hmmm.

" For me, it is better to be as friend for how long you can stand. After a year and another year, you will getting know each other and know their weaknesses and their strengths. To strengthen the relationship are to be open-minded, care each other, don't talk harsh words, don't take to ur heart every jokes that can hurt ur heart. The important thing is to be patient with whatever it takes :) That's the spirit to strengthen the friendship ♥
About getting a relationship in the friendship, i think we should think wisely :) For some reason when the relationship is ended (when we couldn't tell the reason why), please don't try to take a revenge. It's not worth it. We should appreciate someone who treat us nicely :) That's the real ♥ u have show actually. "

I really do love my best friends. They are really the best for me and a part of my life. They never be replaced.

new hair cut! :D

Shalom readers! My new looks >.< It looks funny for me when I do my hair cut like this. Hehe. Well, some of my friends said it suits me, I look cute. Hohoho >.< I didn't expect to hear that word from their mouth. While my mom said, I was look like when I was in 13 years old. Oh my Gucci!! Hehehe. I felt that I'm really like more younger. HAHA. But its okay. I like it anyway. I still wanna do the treatment. I'm tired straightening my hair ==' plus it did took a long time to do it. So, that's all from me today :) 

Have a great day guys :D

Should I be alone?

Shalom readers! :) Miss to share the feelings here. Hmm.. I've been looking into myself, people judge me, how they treat me. I felt that I'm useless :( I bring nothing to this world. I can't be someone which people want me to be unless I want to. Some people ignore me, treat me rudely, didn't care much about what I say. Maybe because I'm small, I don't talk loud, I don't know how to treat/appreciate people. But, why can't they teach me how it should be? Sometimes I hate myself. I hate the way of I am. It seems that I had made a lot of mistake.. There's one person still can't forgave me :'( I don't know what is the biggest mistake I had made. I already did what I should done but it seems useless for me. I felt so bad about myself. I don't know whether my friends do understand me. 

I'm also a human being. I got feelings too. I just need someone to listen and understand me. If ya can't, it's okay just please....don't ignore me :( I'm still alive and standing in front of your face. I'm not ghost which you can't see me. Sometimes I'm very disappointed. No one want have time with me when I need someone most. Oh my! Maybe I'm too sensitive with the surroundings. The person that I talked about just now. From what I saw, that person easy to ask apologize and even begging for it. While before that person been mad so much towards me. I don't know what is the intention that person might gonna do. To make me hate? 

Am I really a bad person? I'm just a weak girl which can ruin anything for certain times. But I didn't meant it. I  just did made a mistake. Every time I remember back what had happened, I felt I don't want to meet anyone and just keep the door shut all the time. I feel so down when the world is pointing on me. I'm not that brilliant, intelligence, good looking person and so on like the others. Sometimes, I just need time to pull up myself back. But some people won't allow me to have my own time. I can't make any wise decision. At the end, I'm the one who is hurt a lot and felt guilty a lot even though thousand of apologize have been made. Who I am actually in their eyes? I'm not a small kids anymore. I have think a lot. I can take care of myself.

................................................................................................................................

Seems that there's no more space for myself . . . . . . . 

I'm P R O U D of myself :)

This picture was taken when I perform on public at Highland Seafood Restaurant. Oh my! ==' 

The nerves caught my feet cold! But.. I did good..just a little mistake which I forgot the steps which one goes first. Actually, I wanna upload the video which was taken by someone (not really know that person actually). But the size was too big to upload. Never mind. Just to gain experience :) 

D I L E M M A ~

Shalom readers! ^^ What a great day today :)

Well, readers...I'm in dilemma and I don't know where I wanna go. 

My mom wanna bring me go to Sabah while I want to go to Ulu Kakus to attend the youth there plus it happen ON THE SAME WEEK AND DAY!!! =='' 

Hmmm....I don't know what is God planning for me. We shall wait and see then.

-Today-

Shalom readers . . . Morning all . . .

Today, I shares some of my feeling today. I miss you :'( but nothing else I can do.

She still needs you. She still miss you. Deep inside of her, I know she still love you. I know it 'cause I am a girl. I ever felt that way before. But now, I don't want the things getting worst. I know I am a weak girl :(

Please do take care of yourself. GOD always be there for you. U never be alone. Trust me :')

T e a r s ~

Suddenly B I G  tears rolled through my cheeks after read again those letter =')

It felt awkward for me to cry for it. I can't control my own emotion .

I'm tired, God. Can I have a rest for those things? I really can't handle it.

C O N F U S I O N ~

Shalom readers ! :) Just a sweet S M I L E for today :)

What a pleasant surprise to what I saw. What should I said about it anyway =/ That was not what I wanted to feel or to have =='' That's why I don't want anything about it right this moment. I felt I can't. 

That's all I can said. GBU~ 

f e e l i n g

" From the beginning until now. All I am thinking was she is better than me. Dear God, please show me the right path. I'm still confuse and I can't make any decision yet. I'm speechless. Kinda useless to do anything. I'm not good any relationship. I can't be someone better. I'm just a weak girl. I got nothing in this world except God who can accept the way who I am. I don't know how to express my feeling. And it seems nothing I can do this time. I'm still learning how to treat a person good and be the best buddy. I'm not that a perfect person. I just want to help and cheers someone's life. I just. . .don't want to be someone else if there's someone want me to change the way I am and who I am. Wish you could accept the one that still can accept and love you the way they do before. "

Love, Sycca.

Times . . .

Shalom readers! =) Have a bless day today. It was raining few minutes ago. And now, I still don't know what to do. 

Times...every things need times right? I'm wondering if  I could make it by time. Right now, I'm facing something that I didn't expect to happen. Me, myself also not sure whether I can face it bravely. I just don't want to hurt others and make a bad decision at the same time. I know I need some effort to make things right. But...at the same time, I was afraid I can't be good enough for someone and repeat the same mistake =/ I felt I don't want to do anything. But this case, my heart seems easily to accept things easily. That's the dangerous part actually. Receiving things so easily. ==' One thing in my mind, "I'm sorry if  I make up things not perfectly." 

At this moment, I can't say out what is in my heart actually. I'm still thinking. Can I be the one? Will I be good enough for someone? There's a lot of ques came out in my mind. Too badly, I'm not strong enough to handle this feeling. It seems that I just knew how to have in a relationship. I'm just like a newbie in this kind of situation. Still, every things need times to know each other, to get the answer, to get things properly. Let's time heals everything. Only time cure my heart since after those thing happened. The worst things happen in my life. It's just not like who I am that time. And I'm felt ashamed on it :'( Tears roll through my cheeks. When I'm thinking back, should I let him hoping for me? All I am thinking was I can't be Mrs. Right. Time should heals everything back to normal, isn't it? I can't be sure with everything. I can't make any decision too right now :(

I'm so sorry if I do bad things, the way I treat you, the way that I talk to you are so rude. I'm so sorry. I'm really not ready to accept those things. I'm still ashamed with myself and still ask forgiveness from HIM. Oh my... :'( at the same time right now, I missed him. He got works to do until this eve, he will come back. He is nice and kind person. He is happy-go-lucky person. That's his real characteristics. But why I'm still afraid to accept someone in my life? Even though I did asked for it from God. Now, he came and HE gave me but why I'm still can't accept someone as my partner in my life? . . . I do want sharing with him. But will he listen? Will he be there for me? Will he calm me? Can he comforts me? I'm afraid if I make the wrong steps. 

:( everything takes time, byee... How can I handle this things . . . I'm not strong enough anyway :( hurmm....so now on, let's just wait for the first thing that I've asked him. God bless him and everyone =')  

ツ

" Jika kau diperkenankan oleh-Nya untuk aku, tiada yang mustahil bagi-Nya =) "


Whatever it takes, if it really destiny, I can't change it but...I won't hope so much on it. Let God decide everything because I put Him first before I wanna do anything. He knows the best for me and I won't worry so much for it if I can't have it, at least I still have Him in my life :)

Fellowship Pra-Christmas 2011 July session ^^

Shalom readers! Here I just can share some of the picture that were taken on last Friday on 4.11.11. There's lot of pictures actually but this one are the best picture that I love. Take a look ^^

Great and awesome isn't it? ^^ I'm TOTALLY miss this moment together. Wish to have it again EXACTLY the same with this next time! God bless all in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen! ^^

What a life~

Shalom readers! =) Seems that I haven't have any followers yet. So much differences than my old blog. Never mind. =)

 Since I am actively with church activities. There are a lot of things new that I've learn. Thanks to all the church members =) It's fun and great to be with them all. The best part when gathering with the youth is sharing! ^^

Yes..I do love their sharing. I can gain a lot of experience and also they do share with the word of God. It does makes me impress to hear more from them. Hehe.

Well...I do sharing but only with certain people who can understand me. I don't simply share with others. Because with the way they show us theirs interest to hear our sharing is they don't seem that they interest with it. For me, what for then if they wanna know about it. Plus, I know who I am who is doesn't know how to tell a story with others. For example, when I about to share with someone, that person might show they don't interest with it or they ignore us then talk to the third person. How sad I am no one would like to hear me ='(

Then I told to myself, "It's better keep silence than talking with others people. Who's care anyway?"

Then, I said again, " Dear God, bless my heart and forgive them with the way that they treat me." 

I am a person that go with the flow. I know I can't judge people. But the only thing that I want is to hear me.

Nobody can be my best companion and buddy except God.

='( Only He knows how bad and good I am. How sad and happy I am. I don't demand much. I just want someone to hear me. Advise me. Accept who I am. Can cheers me up. Can lifted up my spirit again.

People can easily come and go in our life. I just understand with that kind of person after I getting know more and getting nearer to God. That's why, if there's someone did hurt me and talking about how bad I am. I doesn't seem care so much. "Dah lalek dengan semua itu." It's not that I don't care but at the end I'm the one who's getting hurt later. I can't take care always someone's heart if no one could care and understand my heart. =/

I hold these words long ago "Once I do forgives someone, I'll forgets everything with all my sincere heart."

 Maybe I do make someone heart hurts but its okay for me if that person just step forward and said it to me. I can accept everything. But it depends with others too right? That is their own right if they want to keep it in their heart. Hmm...that's all wanna share for today. 

All I can say to you guys, whoever you are, you guys were always in my heart and I do ♥ you guys. Everyone  is special for me =') Nothing difference in Jesus Christ. ^^ 

Bad Time =(

Shalom readers!

Oh my! =( I lost everything in my external. Uuuwwaaa~ ='( All my sweet memories and picture since 2008 until present GONE!! Aaaarrggghhhh!!! ='( I want everything back. Huhuhu~ 

I'm speechless =X I can't express my feeling anymore. 

I''m TOO UPSET! ='(

In pain day + sad day + happy day..

Shalom readers! :D Have a sharing with you guys..

Huhuhu...it's my bad + in pain moment today =( This afternoon, I'm in pain. Some people called it "sakit hulu hati" or gastric. Huhuhu~ I'm totally in pain. My friend asked me to go rest first then sleep. As I awake, I'm in so much PAIN!! I can't stand it so I did cried badly. Huhuhu~ T.T I can't walk and even wake up. TOTALLY IN PAIN!! Huhuhu~ I prayed to God while I'm in pain. I don't know to whom I wanna say that I'm really in pain. Thank God my cousin accompany me. She made me a drink and cooked noodles for me. She gave me medicine. I tie up my stomach with cloth. Huhu~ T.T never felt this great pain before. Below is how I'm look like after had a BIG cried ==''

This is my favorite drink! ^^ Milo Oreo :D 

That's all for tonight :) By the way, this weekend Politeknik organize Karnival Minggu Usahawan (KMU). This moment is my time to have my favorite drinks! ^^

GBU all~ 

Couple a.k.a boyfie??

Shalom readers! ^^ Wish you guys have a great time since this early in the morning  until now :)

Well...regarding to the title that I've made. Hmm. A simple question for me to ask. Do we need to have partner in our life?? After been a single person for quite a long time, sometimes I do felt wanna have a partner in my life, sometimes I think I don't need to have one. After all, a lot of problems need to face when we in a relationship. The curiosity, jealousy and so much feelings will occur. As a human being, that's just a normal thing. But from the other perspective, there's nothing to worry if both of the couple are understand each other and keep on praying to God.
Being a quiet person is better than being a naughty girl chasing out for other boys. What for anyway.. I prefer to see other couples been together :) They look sweet. Sometimes my friends do shares their stories how sweet they are when them with their couples. From their advise, experience, I can gain a lot of things to know about IF I'm gonna have a relationship. HEHE. Nonsense!! >.<
BLA~ BLA~ BLA~
Based from what that I see from others, boys can turn to loyal's one IF they do really love their love one. They be the loyal one because of the girl can make them change to the better one. BUT..if after a long time when the girls doesn't want them anymore, the boys can be so...so..SOOOO.....DOWN! It's true! Yet, the boys still wanna make up things right. Sometimes, I can't understand boys. I know that they have a great ego. I just could say that, that's the one reason I don't want to have couple. They are too ego sometimes. But it doesn't mean that I don't really want to have someone. Maybe it's not the time right now. I leave everything in the God's hand. He knows the best for me :)
From right now on, I'll follow what God want me to do. He'll show the way for me. When the time is come, I won't let the opportunity go away. Anyway, I love to see someone since this earlier semester I think
(secret ley :P) only mother Helen know's about it :P Naa~ nothing special about it. If that is God's will, nothing is wrong with it. I won't hope so much. I know it's not the time right now.
Lastly, God bless all :) you guys always in my pray..

Surprise!! :D

Shalom readers! :D Yeay!! ^^ At last, we made the surprise for my lovely friend >.<

HEHE. She was shocked! She didn't expect that I and my other friends gonna made a surprise for her. HEHE. It was my idea. =P Here are some of the pictures that we taken. Enjoy! ^^

That's all I share for today! :D May God bless Deb and family always ^^ ANDD!! Her relationship with her partner :D Stay bless buddy!! Heart you always ^.^ ♥

Bless Gift :D

Shalom again readers! =D

I'm so excited! Last Saturday, while I was accompany my friend fasting. Both of us decided to stay at the church. She invited me to ask anyone that willing to teach us to play those instruments at the church. It's been a long time I buried this feeling to play piano / keyboard! =D but! on the second thought, I wanna play guitar and drums too. HEHE. xP Then, I decided to try to hit the drums after I saw Oya played the drums. At first, its hard to try...then with the spirit that I had inside of me. I made it! ^^ HEHE. I still wanna learn it more. I love to see Oya playing the drums during the second session yesterday. =D She's not bad trying something new. And I love to try something new too ^^ unless there's someone willing to teach us =P Oya said I'm a quick learner, I know how to follow the tempo but I'm not that confident =='' my bad habit. 

Never mind! Everyone gonna learn from mistake right? =) I wish I can play very well with one of the instrument.

That's all from now. GOD bless all :D 

Physically I smiled, inside...no one knows. . . .

Shalom readers! =D It's been a tiring day but when it's time to praise and worship HIM, nothing is impossible ^^

Well...something I wanna share here. Since I felt the present of Holy Spirit inside me, there were so much things I knew. I don't really know how to share but at least I'm trying right now. Hmm... from what I felt and I saw... In our every day life, people may come and leave us instantly. I am a bit upset with some people that still hiding their feelings about me. What I mean is they seem don't really sincere with what they had done. Am I doing something wrong that I didn't realize? What did I had done?? 

Sometimes I don't expect anything that I can't handle to happen. But when it comes to that situation, when I'm trying to solve it by eyes to eyes, they just simply go away. What did I do next is I said to Lord, please forgive them, God. Let time heals every things. Sometimes too, I'm wondering..why they must act like that?? Do they ever think about others feeling?? I can be so down thinking of this. Or maybe I still need more patience to face this kind of situation. I do really need someone to guide me through my life. 

Hmm...things seem went so complicated to me. But whenever I think about God every second until I slept, nothing can change my time that moment. I felt I'm free from every things. All my burdens been lifted up. =) Thanks to my lovely sister and friend, Ebiey. Hehe. She did gave me support since I'm started sharing with her. I felt secure whenever she around me =) Thanks sulu. I love you and I miss you >.< God bless you.

Good Friend.

Shalom readers! ^^ Thanks God, this morning class I'm not that sleepy. I have to wake up early to finish my project and the script for our group to do the role play this evening. Thanks to my friend who gave me her coffee 3 in 1 for me =P hehe. Actually, I wanna finish up those things at midnight but my eyes were too heavy and so sleepy. So, later I have to bring my "baby boo" to class. Our lecturer want to take video for our role play. I'm the one who is so excited! =P hehe.

Back to the main subject that I wanna talk about. Just now, my best friend send text to me. I'm so happy that she text me but unfortunately, she seems so down. It is because her pointer had drop drastically. I'm in shocked too! Thanks to God who give me opportunity to calm her and to encourage her back. She had been engrossed in worldly matters. I hope she do as what I told her. There had free time just now, I pray for her. Let God do the  rest for her problems. I did just like what did I get from God. He truly came to my life and save me. Thanks for everything God. That's all I wanna share today. 

GOD bless everyone ! ^^ sayonara =D

Matthew 7:13-14 "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few find it."
In my opinion, if you found the easiest way to run away from problems or anything, you really lead to destruction. Because in life there's nothing easy when we want to be with God always. But when you found the narrow yet small road to the main door, at the end, you will find something worth it. Nothing is impossible in this world if we really follow our Father footsteps. :) Be bless guys.

Open the new chapter :)

Shalom! Hey fellow :) I'll restart everything starting from now on. 

Maybe this is the best for me and my life. I miss sys Grace and Joy :( May God bless them and their family.

Condolence to their family as their beloved Grandma had been passed away last week.