Shalom readers! (:
Sorry for been so busy this lately. But today, I guess I wanna let my heart speaks.
This lately, I was plagued by many things. All I do is just keep silent =X Seems that, I don't have any rights to speak. Though I want to speak, my heart said "Let it be." I keep the silent all day long. I'm just had the opportunity to give a smile only. *which means a lot of things.
I really had hard time this moment. I really need somebody, someone who is willing to be there always with me. But at the same time, I don't put so much
hope on it. Maybe the someone is someone who really gives impact towards my life. But I guess, God said "It's not the right time right now. Be patient my child."
Seriously, I don't want to predict someone thoughts, heart and mind anymore. Even you asked me right now, what is in my mind, I would said "I'm blur. I can't think right now."
Right here, I want to say that. It's not easy to fall in love but when the two hearts do meet unconsciously, you would never knows that is your real love. But, what did I felt right now, ego conquer the feelings. I don't want to admit it. I denied it. I let it be. I don't want I'm the one who chasing the love. That's what we called egois.
We are just a human being. We are not that perfect though we trying our best to make things right.
In my life, I'm filled it up with God, family, friends, favorite stuffs, pets, nature and so on. One thing I demand, I want happiness. Who is in this world, don't want a happiness.
For sure, money can't buy us happiness. Indeed! It's not that I want to mention or mean something else, recently it quite surprise for me that my mom suddenly bought me a bag, pants and a blouse. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate things that were given to me but with those things won't give me happiness. I'm sorry to say this mom. I do love you. It's just...that was not the way it is. Hmm...
I don't blame anything, anyone or whatever it is. I just wanna know why it should happened to be like that?
Every time I asked, not everyone could answer my questions. Do my questions really hard to get the answers?
Only pray, could relieve my heart. By tearing, I could feels the pain. By thinking positive, I could understand it why.
My life is getting tougher for me. I wonder, could I make it to the end of my life? Could I get someone special in my life? Could I get myself ready to face my marriage life? Could I manage to travel around the world? To the place that I wanted to go? Could I .....
I know God has prepare everything to me. The choices given to me. Just the time given to me is too hard for me to choose it. He has the plan for me, I'm just wait for what will given to me.
Sweet Love from me ♥